overlordsukone: cuckoocuckoo (ed)
[personal profile] overlordsukone
My icon speaks for itself. I found a lot of crazies out there today. Feel free to peruse my reviews and giggle at their obvious/sorry attempts to excuse their own laziness. I am very lazy, but I'll own up to it. :3

"The Prince and The Princess" by NeverGuessWhoIAm (Uta*Pri)
O-kay...that was weird. It's obvious that English isn't your first language, and if that's the case, then you need to get a beta reader. Don't slack off and not edit your stories. Find someone who can help you. That said, let's see what's up with this train wreck...

Aria isn't a great name for an OC in this particular fandom. It's set in Japan, so give her a Japanese name, and not a musically-inspired name. None of the canon characters have musical terms for names, so yours is no exception. Aria is also a skittish, sickly Haruka wanna-be. She's not even a plausible OC. If I don't like or relate to a character by the end of the first chapter, then it needs a do-over.

Putting OOC in your summary doesn't excuse your poor characterization of the canon characters, either. Stop making excuses for your laziness and write the characters in character. Not just so you can shove some random guy with Syo's name slapped on him with your teal deer OC. And don't shove in random romaji lyrics from a song that no one has ever heard of or can understand. I doubt even you could translate those without youtube or google. :/

This needs to be deleted and rewritten.

"Bath Time" by googlygummybear (Uta*Pri)
To be honest, it sucked. :D

Your grammar is atrocious. Abuse the English language much? You should be arrested for making such a mockery of it. Syo and Otoya never grew up together, either. Do your research before entering a new fandom. Yaoi in a reverse harem fandom has no factual basis; it's all about a bunch of guys striving for the affections of a GIRL. Go infect another fandom with your garbage. :3

Oh, and write out your numbers. '5 year old' should be 'five year old.' Delete this and try again, babe.

"We'll Reach the Wind Together" by HyperxSuperxLover (Uta*Pri)
Aww, you're so ignorant that it's adorable. :3

Your Author's Notes are way too long, for starters. Cut 'em down to size. You write your dialogue all wrong. It should be in complete sentences, speech verb included, not all broken and fragmented. You can't write angst because this wasn't convincing in the slightest. And nowhere in the manga did I read that only hetero relationships were forbidden. You must have read a doujinshi or something. ROMANCE is forbidden. Screw your head back on straight.

Yaoi has no place in a reverse harem fandom where ALL the guys are focused on one GIRL. Try again, babe. :/

Lol, you guys crack me up. XD


overlordsukone: i'm such a dork (Default)
long live the queen

May 2013

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